At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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