how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
