im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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