I'm eating all of the evidence.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize
