walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
