once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
