worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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