I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
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