I cockslap morals
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He? As in you personified your dick?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
