pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize