anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
