His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
