Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
