Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I didn't notice because vodka
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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