Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
ugly people sure do ruin things
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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