That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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