flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
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