I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.