At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
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I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
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you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.