I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now