I'm lost and stupid without you.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
21 Times Karma Showed These People Not to Mess Around
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.