That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
