dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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