the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
it's like iHOP with fire
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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