Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
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To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
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Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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