He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
