i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
