I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
