My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
