As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.