Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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