My hand turned me down
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.