My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
I want to have your abortion
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........