you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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