He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Randomize
