Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
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I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
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