This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
