Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
