i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
