sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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