i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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