i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
