Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
