Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
17 year olds will be the death of me.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
