I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
