Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
