If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
