Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize