I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
