There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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