the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
