Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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