She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
