Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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