HIV tests are more positive than that guy
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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