I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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