he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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