Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
