went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
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