i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
