They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
