i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
