Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
