how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
