Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
