Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
We just shotgunned beers for America
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Well I just put wine in my tea
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Randomize
