It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
