Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
