The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock