youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
