your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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