it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
