See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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