that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
