I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize